He gives grace to the humble.

I'm definitely learning a lot being here. I've gone through great length to be where I'm at. Both emotionally and physically, but also spiritually and mentally. Today I've come to have another ah-ha moment in my life where I stand amidst, in an objective point of view to see my situation for what it is and not become so warped into it. I'm battling with some deep emotional scars, where some would call them "inner Demon's" that I've never faced in my entire life. They are scars left from the one who loves me the most, my dad. And as I'm entering into this marriage journey it's only making me face the things I never thought was in existence. The reality of my parents divorce and what led to it taking place in my own life. I've always distanced myself with such thoughts. "It happened to my parents but I would never let that happen to me."  Or the whole judgment that says, "my parents weren't strong enough or they should have stuck it out".. but seeing how difficult and how much work it takes to making a marriage work between a husband and a wife really has me coming to accept the fact that what happened to my parents marriage was in fact, for their good. And for mine. 

Point being, I can't seem to keep holding on to what broke my parents and letting it break mine. Some things he does I can not control. Who he looks at, where he's going, who he talks to. He's got choices, let alone- freedom to live. I feel the pressure to control every situation to fit into the mold that I want it to be. I try to take the place of God. And now I'm walking off my high horse and taking my seat. At the feet of Jesus where I belong. I'm humbled today at the thought of how frantic I get by such silly things. Mediocre to the bigger picture of things. There's way too much goodness in this world to obsess over the menial things as I do. Whatever the situation is, be yourself. Because no matter who judges you, the harshest judge really is, yourself.